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The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that closed systems tend toward disorder. For example, a disordered scrambled egg doesn’t just turn back to a raw clear white and and yellow blob enclosed in its ordered shell again. Cosmologist Ludwig Boltzmann questioned the Second Law of Thermodynamics back in the late 1800s. Ludwig stated that over the vast scale of time, extremely unlikely things will happen, like some aging disordered system at some point could evolve into an ordered enclosed system (ridiculous!).
In his Boltzmann Brain Paradox, Ludwig took this one more step, stating that we humans could just be ephemeral brains thinking up life as physical beings in a made-up world full of seemingly tactile wonder and horror. Ridiculous, yet according to cosmologists’ calculations, the sudden existence of our universe in the big bang is far less likely than the spontaneous existence of a Boltzmann Brain.
Like Ludwig, you have been wrestling with annoyingly impossible questions, a cosmologist playing devil’s advocate against a basic law of physics. It can make you question even your basic perception, which can lead to questioning your assumptions and your conditioning. You are understanding your self and your existence by probing your memories (past perceptions) and investing in present relationships and ways of communicating (current perceptions). As you poke at things to see how they respond, your brain becomes more complex, old beliefs founder while new comprehension sprouts. Look for a noticeable shift ~December 20.
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“Is a wormhole beautiful math without physical reality?” pondered many a physicist. A wormhole connects two black holes. According to the theory of relativity, within classic gravitational systems, physicists described wormholes as non-traversable, because they are so chaotic, constantly opening and closing, with two unrelated black holes on either end. But using the math of quantum physics, the two black holes are entangled, and the wormhole that connects them can stabilize if blasted by a negative shockwave. Two different types of physics with two different theories as to how wormholes operate.
This past year, these two schools of thought merged when physicists created a quantum circuit that’s mathematically equivalent to a wormhole. They designed a set of entangled qubits to have the exact same physics as a gravitational wormhole. When they first set out to do this, it took a couple years to even come up with how to approach it. When they finally started, their best hope was that it would be a wacky experiment. But they actually created a working model of a wormhole, which became stable enough with a negative energy pulse to send a qubit through it!
What beautiful math are you making reality in your life? You don’t have to have any guarantees of things working out to apply your new math to the old. You are finding expression, repaving the road to relate with more parts of yourself awakened. Follow sparks of inspiration to catalog information differently, giving voice to olde tyme inner child pains with the new physics of today. There are a million ways to make things happen, on this journey into the self, don’t work to try to know. Speaking in salves, you can re-see with new language to knit together relational gashes.
In Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”, Mrs. Hutchinson chooses the paper with the graphite dot scribbled on it, which means the townspeople must stone her. She is the antagonist of that story. Pointing out the unfairness, she casts doubt and bolsters the logic behind neighboring towns’ decisions to do away with these old stoning rituals. But it’s hard to go against our programming; people are so robotic that way.
Yet our hope, our Aquarian nature acts as an antagonist to the world, going against the grain of unfair rituals that society adheres to “just because”. With Saturn in your 1st house, squaring the nodes, it’s not been been an easy year and a half for you. By now you have learned a lot, and developed your character. A theme has been what to do with yourself when there is not a provincial lottery-type ritual to fight against. Widdling. Fidget spinners. Sky gazing. I hope this has led you to lots of fun and enjoyment, toying with new ideas, playing games and chomping on ways to imagine a different world.
Keep a journal to capture all these butterflies, these flights of fancy. Enjoy the moment. Shake it up! Hold on to nothing (except the thought specimens you jot down in your notebook of ideas). Put your energy into following your bliss and feathering your nest. Your adventures can be in this world or the other world, through your dreams. So spend time at home, make your home extra comfy and get deep sleeps. Starting New Year’s Eve and into January, things are looking up for you, especially if you espouse this free and easy attitude. Sometimes old habits die hard, yet robot must ungrasp stone, run into wilderness.
One thing I was left with was a mixtape from the 90s, mailed to me by a friend who is now gone forever. He sampled Dr. Who and the Throwing Muses song with the line “don’t call me jailbait”. Cassette tapes were already nostalgic before CDs took over. Now they are full-on multiple screaming orgasm level nostalgia. My limbs tremor for them.
Now is the time to make your house good for all the things you want to do before you die. What I mean is create texture like the shhhhhh of the rolling tape. Remember how TV was softer too? Graininess happened. Now it’s like sharper than life. Watching TV at the doctor waiting room cuts my eyes with its high definition.
If lots of people want you’re attention right now, then at least do it softly. Frenzyless. Or at least soft enough to feel dreams like waves coming to the shore right beneath your surface. You are balancing responsibility to self and others. A lot can be said for DJing the right songs. If people are feeling the blade of your insistence then everyone can be extra work on you.
In the end what I remember about my friend is things like the mixtape. The dreamy moments that made me feel seen and cared for. Cooking for me, lots of little gifts with that guy. When you are balancing your own expressive conversation with considerate listening, think of your sounds like a mixtape you are making for a friend. Hahaha remember sitting by the radio or TV to tape record the thing that wasn’t just available always. Hurry and click record lol. I would have fuckin died to know how accessible music is now. But the action, the care is gone. Inconvenient things can be warm n fuzzy when they are gone.
If something is petty, even if the issue is about something you share responsibility on, it’s still a petty thing. I’m just gonna be direct: focus on what really matters. For example, are you getting paid well enough. Ask for more money. Are people generally respectful. Keep your eyes on your own prize and don’t fight over unimportant procedural details that don’t matter. Don’t even waste one drop of energy on the tiniest bit of a lecture or a bitch fest. Put every ounce of your ample power towards getting what’s yours. The confusion of the moment might make things SEEM more urgent, emotional or heated than they actually are.
You are really testing your own standards and values at the moment. For example, you may value loyalty. But you are learning a new dimension of loyalty. Maybe you used to think loyalty was doing everything for someone else, getting things done on time. Now you are expanding to see how loyalty may mean letting another person take the reigns. It could mean just listening. Taking a back seat. Being patient is another form of loyalty. This is just an example, but you have a chance to see the importance of more relational values right now.
The key for this moment in time is going to be paying attention to what is really going on and not seeing every moment as an action item. Take in more information. Wait for the dust to settle. Keep your eye on the ball. Don’t let distractions confuse you. Analyze the meat of the situation, and patiently notice for days and days before painting things one way or another.
“I was the first one to drive a convertible on my reservation. And of course it was red, a red Olds. I owned that car along with my brother Henry Junior. We owned it together until his boots filled with water on a windy night and he bought out my share. Now Henry owns the whole car, and his younger brother Lyman (that’s myself), Lyman walks everywhere he goes. “
– Louise Erdrich, from her short story, “The Red Convertible”
Taureans love their things, but they also give a lot in relationships. It is satisfying for them to collect objects d’arte, to feather their nests and luxuriate in their well-curated purchases. Even more satisfying to a Taurus is to share textures, flavors, sounds and indulge loved ones in warmth and comfort. In partnerships, a Taurus makes lots of sacrifices, not just financial, but sharing objects that hold meaning, that make pleasurable spaces, good memories and that can represent a big part of their relationship dynamic. In the Louise Erdrich short story, Lyman and his brother Henry share a red convertible, which takes them on road trips, to Alaska, feeling the different way light and time work. Dancing with long hair waving in a tent. Under a willow tree in Montana, watching dust kick up in the distance… sensory experiences that defined their relationship. Their convertible held this unique quality of their time together, a symbol of their brotherhood.
Right now, you may be negotiating a give and take, or contemplating loss. You may be dealing with some emotional component of handling your affairs, sorting out resources. The tides, winds and life experiences weather and shift us permanently. Even us. Even the people we love. In the Louise Erdrich story, the brother, Henry, changes over time, and I won’t give the ending away. Go read it. Share it with a friend, a mentor, to get an outside opinion, refresh your circumstances, go with the tide and move with the seasons.
You have another month or two of things “not working as they should”. Something any wise Geminician knows is that the “not-working time” is only a periodic thing anyways. Soap suds everywhere. Clean the instruments of the technological exchange. While you wait for your elite talent for accurate translations to be back on your hands like magic gloves, you have the immediacy of the poet. So while confusion is afoot, why not let’s dive into gel-coated language.
What if your face & eyes were stone & you looked at others & theirs were too. Then sand, then ocean. Cheeks, eye lashes, toe nails, belly buttons all smear through the wind’s fingers like sand, then liquid. All the materials are presenting themselves to you in all their possible exchanges. A new form is still there even after the waves crash the shore like a mythical beast smashing fists in a tantrum.
There is work to be done. So you are keeping one eye open. You have seer powers now. But practical things to be done. Real talk, and seeing beyond the veil, talking to selves past and present. In the language of primal motion and movement of objects, the world is your typewriter to send messages between other lives, the world of things and your body’s interaction with it.
The things you make in this playground sandbox are trivial but still are a blueprint you won’t be able to erase. Play with bubbles, sand and finger your patterns, honoring this time. When you leave your poet phase back to translator, you will remember some of this dream.
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“over waves rolling; I had grief before dawn”
This is a quote from an anonymous elegy, a lament poem, from 10th century England. The speaker is picturing the love of their life on a distant shore, since they were separated due to some family drama, heightened emotions that let to fiasco. It was written in Old English, and this is the original line:
“ofer ȳþa ġelāc; hæfde iċ ūhtċeare”
While stewing in a pot of internet, I stumbled upon Medival English scholar, Eleanor Parker’s translation of the word, ūhtċeare, which I just love to death. It’s words that encapsulate something we normally need a whole phrase for. It’s words that we don’t need in our practical thinking. We know and invent words like “laptop” and “gasoline” and abbreviations like “lol” to engage in practical communication. But what about words for body experiences, whether emotional or based on the physical experience of being on earth. Here is how Eleanor Parker defines ūhtċeare:
“uhtcearu is a compound which means ‘pre-dawn-sorrow’, ‘grief at early morning’. In Old English uht is the name for the last part of the night, the empty chilly hours just before the dawn, and so a particularly painful time for grief and loneliness. (As well as other kinds of threat: the dragon in Beowulf is described as an uhtfloga, a creature who flies before dawn.)”
This month, you may be hyper-aware of the emotional and physical lament of being alive and caring about other people. You may feel personal drama surfacing, trouble holding things at bay. Some hot spots: December 16-18 and December 20-25. Try not to really fight. Try on new feelings like hats. Go with what feels strange. Stay soft n juicy, sizzlin. Find new words for pre-dawn grief and other things you feel. Howl like Beowulf would. Or write a lament full of gnomes (pithy advice) and riddles (thought eddies that help you consider that life makes no sense, so is not worth grinding your teeth over).
Sometimes you have to show your public how to appreciate you. Otherwise it’s like casting pearls before swine. It’s a process to teach them what you have to offer. It’s a process of being unabashedly YOU while also accepting both positive and negative feedback. Goal right now = building real relationships, with authentic exchange to build something lasting. Even if things feel unstable, it’s in a good way. To test what’s possible. Be all about that negative feedback, the most honest feedback is pure gold. Don’t miss out.
We are god’s cowlick. The quirky mistake. We are the universe’s wild ingrown hair. We humankind revel in getting more ruined awkward while having this run of good luck. Things like how we make ourselves keep doing global warming even when we know better. But maybe it’s also good advice for you right now, Leo Rising. While going for the gold standard, remember to continually ruin it, and allow in terrible monsters and trainwrecks. Be like a hippo in a pottery shop. That makes no sense. I’m just trying to say to don’t get all precious or self-important.
Around New Year’s Eve all the way into the first week or two of January, you get a lift. Work in tandem with people around you and say YES to positive opportunities that fall in your lap (if they do). Let go of what isn’t working. Say YES to flow, and invest in it. Build something lasting. You are cultivating taste, style and pizzazz. Eat pizzas. You are upping your game and bringing the people around you on board.
You are making some good headway these days, even if it’s been a little harried at times. This past week was super busy, untangling wires, or maybe exploring the land of tangled wires. You can’t untangle an ecosystem, you just walk learn to live in it. You have been finishing up last things to get some final yardage before half-time. That’s a football term.
Speaking of athleticism and activity, your health has been suffering under the weight of work like a weightlifter popping veins under a bowing barbell. But somehow in the tangle, you are keeping hope alive. Around December 12, expect some positive strides in the health routines department.
Some of the confusing communication from other humans will come up again mid-month, yet there will also be a big shift around December 20-23. You are learning how to communicate gently when others are insecure, while also maintaining good boundaries for yourself.
Through most of January you will be dealing with a retrograde of your ruling planet, Mercury. Into the first few months of 2023, life will start to heat up for us Virgo Risers. But right now ain’t no slouch either. December 14-17, December 25 and January 2, get your dreams into conversation, sing, play music or listen to music. You also have lots of spastic sparky run-ins with Uranus that could lead to popping pressure point, cracking your brain’s back, go into the heart and sizzle away stubborn parts. I am imagining it like you’re doing stretching routines, hot rock massages in between wood-burning sessions and finagling different beasts and purring with birds of prey. Kneading all the different parts of your life to nurture their heartbeats.
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While you are feeling tied to home right now, you are also venturing out and bringing interesting people, ideas, foods and adventures into your home. It reminds me of the home of Una and Robinson Jeffers, where they had tiles and things from all over the place. Friends would bring them things to cast into the walls of their handmade stone house in Carmel before anything was there except shore and windbent cypress trees.
From December 14-20, play games, solve puzzles and play with ideas. Have fun at home, crafting and instilling your home with culture and story, pollinating your people with new ideas. You are rooting in, establishing your legacy and what is important to the beings you share space with. Not to put too fine a point on it, but there is something ancient or universal about this need for people to track their story within their closest co-habitants. With those under their roof and those on their block and in their town. The Plains Indians used to do the Winter Count every year. Elders would decide on what the most defining event for the year was, and the keeper would draw that picture on the buffalo hide that had all the previous counts on it.
In Sudan, the Dinka have a tradition of hiring a Story SInger to give a person their song, based on their life. This hired Story Singer only sings the song once, and it can even be in the middle of the night. So, you also want to hire a Ping, a person with a really good memory. The Ping are the human recorders, who will capture the song in their minds and repeat it for you. Once you learn your song and then you sing it for others, and people will sample your song into their own song.
Although the beginning of December may have been a little stressful, leaving you feeling off-kilter and a little drained, by mid-month you will have some positive interactions with people you are making something tangible with. After quite some time of dealing with some fraught conversation or misunderstandings over the past couple weeks, look forward to mutually satisfying exchanges. This could be with friends or with colleagues, whether planning a party or completing a project.
Feeling proud of what you have been up to this past year, you may be vacillating between wanting to go deeper versus wanting to totally shift gears. Tinker! Experiment! Let loose! What can it hurt? And from New Year’s Eve into the first week of January, you will have good talks with people about your next chapter, and what you want to do together. Not only does it feel great to make things together, to see your creations come to life, but it also feels amazing to grow together, within your own personal development ecosystems. It could feel both magical and satisfying to experience this level of partnership and symbiosis. In the second week of January, there is more of a focus on communicating what your standards are, detailing the design you imagine in a way that can be pictured by your collaborators.